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Why and how should we speak up whenever someone around us says or does something that we disapprove of? Let's make sure we don't support with silence.
Do you speak up when someone around you says or does something that you disapprove of?
If you don’t, it’s likely causing more damage to your social results than you know.
You see, there’s a saying that goes “silence is support”.
And it means that if you don’t show your disagreement with what’s being said or done around you – it must mean that you agree with or support it.
And this comes into play in all kinds of situations.
Men who do not speak up when other men use derogatory terms or statements towards women are assumed by any woman present to agree with the chauvinist.
People who do not speak up when someone is being unfairly criticized are assumed to agree with the criticism.
Those who allow racist, sexist, or other discriminatory talk or actions to pass without speaking up against them.. well, I’m sure you get the point.
In my Authentic Assertiveness course I dedicate several chapters to the art of speaking up, sharing our opinions, and stating disagreements.
And I do that because it is one of the most important things that we have to master. If we don't, other people’s bad behaviors will negatively affect our own social results.
Whenever – and I mean whenever – someone in your presence does or says something that goes against your personal ethics, speak up and let them know.
You don’t have to turn every single one of these conversations into a discussion. But you do have to make sure that they, and anyone listening, recognize you disagree and disapprove with what they're saying.
When you do, not only will the people around you not associate you with that poor behavior. But the person displaying it will feel opposed and, in some cases, stop doing what they're doing.
And often times you'll even gain support from others around you who also disapprove, but who were too insecure or apathetic to speak up themselves.
When what is being said or done that you disagree with is not a serious violation in any way, you can feel free to disagree with a smile and leave it at that.
“Haha, well, you might feel that way, but I have to say that I don’t agree.”
But if what was said or done is on the more serious side. If it affects someone’s safety or self-worth. If it’s racist or discriminatory or violent in nature. Please speak up firmly. Let them know that you will not accept such behavior in your world. And if they don’t correct the behavior – leave them.
We can’t afford to be silent supporters of people and actions that make the world a worse place to live.
Let’s use these skills we’re developing not just for our own good – but to create a better world for everyone.
Hi, I'm TJ Guttormsen.
Since 2009 I’ve coached clients ranging from Olympic gold medalists and billionaires, to people who simply want more out life.
I’ve done over 100 national media appearances, published books, and created online courses that have earned several “Highest Rated” titles from their 11 000+ members.
Today I coach clients from all over the world, and teach seminars for business and events from my home in Las Vegas.
Come join me in my Facebook group, follow my Instagram, or subscribe to my YouTube channel for fresh content on a regular basis.