Although it would be great if every single social event we went to was fantastically enjoyable, that's simply not realistic.
And the fact that the occasional get-together with other people isn't all that great is not just natural, but also perfectly ok. In fact, it can even ensure that we enjoy the good time we have with others even more.
The problem happens if we start to feel like too little of our socializing is actually enjoyable.
That can make pretty much anyone start to withdraw more and more from spending time with other people, and in the worst case make us end up feeling lonely and disconnected from the world.
So whether you feel like your over-all socializing needs to be more enjoyable, or you just want to give your already fun social life a little extra boost, here are five simple strategies that will help you.
Don't expect every social interaction to be amazing. Sometimes people are having an off day, or you simply won't be compatible enough with the people you meet to enjoy your time with them, and that's okay.
Accept the experience for what it is, don't take it personally if things don't go perfectly (after all, you’re not the only one responsible for that conversation), and feel free to end an interaction when you’re over it.
In addition, make sure that you set realistic expectations to social events before you go to them. And the best way to do that, tends to be to expect them to be about the same as similar events have been in the past.
And if that means that you likely won't enjoy it as much as you'd like, it's up to you to figure out how you can do things differently this time to get more of what you want.
There are few things that can ruin socializing more than constantly talking about topics that don’t interest us.
Explore which topics you genuinely enjoy talking about, and practice bringing them up in conversations until you begin defaulting back to those topics rather than standard small talk.
It only takes a bit of creativity to come up with better topics and questions to bring up, and a few weeks of practicing them, before you will have replaced uninteresting small-talk with something much more exciting.
Show a sincere interest in others' lives, thoughts, and feelings.
Ask open-ended questions and actively listen to their responses.
People tend to love it when others show genuine interest in them. And there are few better ways to connect with people than to combine this with the tip above and ask them about things that you’re likely to find interesting.
So take some time to think about what you tend to enjoy listening to other people talk about, and come up with a few questions or statements that will encourage those topics.
Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to pretend to be interested in things they’re not, to know about things they’ve never heard of, to agree with things they don’t, and so on.
This is usually done in an attempt to try to fit in, avoid disagreements, or similar.
But this actually hinders more than it helps connection - and makes us much less authentic.
Instead, be honest about these things - with a smile and due respect - and you’ll usually find that it’ll encourage much more engaged and connected conversations than what misrepresenting your interests, opinions, or knowledge does.
Some people like going to cafés or bars, some like physical activities or games, some prefer meeting friends at home, and so on.
What do you like?
Once you've figured out which settings you prefer to socialize in, you can give suggestions or invitations accordingly, and instantly improve your own socializing experiences by having more of them in settings you enjoy.
Some of my clients have even discovered that doing activities they enjoy helps them feel both more confident and excited about socializing, without anything else really having to change.
That’s it, five simple tips for how to create more enjoyable social interactions. I hope they will help you get even more out of your time with others!
Hi, I'm TJ Guttormsen.
Since 2009 I’ve coached clients ranging from Olympic gold medalists and billionaires, to people who simply want more out life.
I’ve done over 100 national media appearances, published books, and created online courses that have earned several “Highest Rated” titles from their 11 000+ members.
Today I coach clients from all over the world, and teach seminars for business and events from my home in Las Vegas.
Come join me in my Facebook group, follow my Instagram, or subscribe to my YouTube channel for fresh content on a regular basis.