Is your superego telling you that you don't deserve "it"? - TJ Guttormsen

Is your superego telling you that you don’t deserve “it”?

My client was struggling with his superego.

“I don’t think I deserve it,” his voice was more annoyed than sad as he explained why he thought he wasn’t getting the results he wanted.

“Ok,” I replied, “how do you know that you don’t deserve it?”

“Well, I..” He hesitated. Several seconds passed. “I guess I don’t know.”

“Is it possible that it could be your superego that is telling you that you don’t deserve it so that you won’t make the efforts needed to succeed? Could it be that this is nothing but your superego tricking you into thinking that it’s best to just not move forward towards your new life?”

“Damnit..” He said with a smile, “and here I thought I had that ego thing figured out!”

After this conversation, my client who had been on my online program for a few weeks made a giant leap forward in creating the life that he wanted. He realized that it wasn’t about what he thought he “deserved”, it was only about whether he was putting in the effort to create what he wanted or not.

But we all fall for our superego’s trickery from time to time.


What is the superego?

That voice in your head that keeps telling you what you’re not good enough for, what’s not going to work, why you shouldn’t do the things you need to do, etc.

That voice is our superego, and its greatest trick is to convince us that it is us. That its thoughts are our thoughts. But they are not.

Those thoughts you have that keep holding you back aren’t you. You are the person that needs to decide whether you’re going to listen to them or not.

Because our thoughts are rarely facts. They are ideas. Imaginings. Dreams. Nightmares. Conjured illusions of the mind.

And once we know this we can start living a life that is not directed by our superego. A life that is created by us. A life designed based on what’s right for us, what we want, and what we dream of. Instead of a life created by our superego’s fears, ideas and need to control us.


There is no “deserve”. No universal measures exist that quantify who you are and decides what you deserve based on those measurements. There is only belief. And our beliefs are created in our own mind – often by processes that are not actually trying to help us, just control us.


So start paying attention to the thoughts you have that are holding you back. Which of them do you have proof are true? Which do you just believe to be true?

Because belief does not create facts. And if you are letting these thoughts hold you back without challenging them, without seeking actual proof, you are letting your superego design your life. And your superego doesn’t care if you have a happy and fulfilled life or not – it only cares that you listen to it.

So what are you going to do today, tomorrow and the next day to start creating the results that you want? Which of your thoughts are you going to stop listening to?


– TJ Guttormsen
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1 comment

  1. Siuli Ghosh - Reply

    My son is 18 years old. When I told him something which is /are he doesn’t like he always told me angrily that keep quiet and please maintain peace in the house. I take care of him alone. My husband is in touring job or he stays another city due to his job. If he is present at home he doesn’t bother to take care of him or say something to support me. That time I loose my confidence. After 20 years of marriage I am going through severe depression. Both men do not consider my condition. My husband always sincerely does his job. My husband and I don’t have any personal bonding now. He is more attached to his female colleague who is 23 years younger than him. I am emotionally broken. After long time I convinced now him to spend some time with me (lock down Time in India). Please guide me. I want to be self dependent.

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