Speak with a ., not with a ,.
How confusing was that sentence to read? 😉
Let me type it out to make sure there’s no confusion:
Speak with a period, not with a comma.
What I’m saying is that it is often a good idea to slow down when you talk to people.
Many of us tend to talk faster when we’re excited, eager, nervous, or stressed. Now, of course, there’s nothing wrong with being excited and letting people see it. But, generally speaking, talking slower will be helpful for you in many ways.
You see, speaking calmly and with focus creates the impression that we are confident. That we know what we’re talking about. That we’re comfortable with ourselves. And that we know what we want.
And when we use shorter sentences, we use more periods. Just consider these last two paragraphs, compared to the next two.
In the previous two paragraphs, I used fairly short sentences, which means that there are more full stops as you read them, while in this paragraph I’m typing a very long sentence only separated by commas, which makes it harder – maybe even a little more annoying and stressful – to read.
And it is just as true for the spoken word as it is for the written word that in order to communicate well, come off as confident, and make it comfortable for others to take it in – shorter sentences and more periods are better.
Did you feel the difference in those paragraphs?
Play with this on your own. You can do it right now. Come up with something to talk about and experiment. First, try to talk about it fast, with few full stops and lots of commas. Then repeat what you said. But speak more calmly. And use more periods.
Can you feel the difference?
Speaking more calmly, with focus, and more full stops are considered more confident. More attractive. More authoritative.
It will improve everything from your dating life, to your family life, to your work life. So make it a habit.
PS: For more tips on confidence, communication, and other social skills – take a look at my online courses.