There are many things we can do to create better conversations, and today I want to share three of them with you.
1. Replace “trying to impress” with “trying to connect.
When we try to impress we’re focused on ourselves. What we say becomes the most important thing. How we are perceived becomes our priority.
This blocks us from being fully present with the other person. It can inspire us to be dishonest and even make us run out of things to talk about if we can’t think of any more impressive things to say.
Instead, simply be present and give the situation and the other person your full attention, and you’ll soon feel more relaxed and more connected.
2. Stop wondering what they think of you, and focus on what you think of them.
Doing this will help you be more present in the conversation, and minimize negative or worried self-thinking.
The other person will also feel more “seen”, and notice that you’re actually paying attention to them. All of which will help you connect better.
3. Stop worrying about what to say, and think about what you want to know.
Coming up with an answer to “what should I say?” is hard in the best of times. But finding an answer to, “what would I like to know about this person?” tends to be a lot easier. And when you have that answer – ask or talk about that topic.
I recommend that everyone take some time to think about what they’re genuinely curious to learn about other people.
What would you like to know about a potential friend, a potential partner, a potential employer or colleague, and so on?
When you know what you’re looking for – qualities, interests, values, experiences, and so on – creating better conversations and knowing what to talk about instantly becomes easier. In fact, it will help you master everyone’s favorite topic.