How to create authentic assertiveness. - TJ Guttormsen

How to create authentic assertiveness.

Would you like to master assertiveness?

Would you like to be the kind of person that inspires people to listen, not because you’re loud or forceful – but because they WANT to hear what you have to say?

For over a decade now, I’ve helped people all around the world improve their communication, and one of the topics that tend to come up often is assertiveness.

For a lot of people, “assertive” is the same as “forceful”, or maybe “loud” or “aggressive”. And that’s why I’ve named my particular brand of it “Authentic Assertiveness” – to distance it from that kind of thinking.

Because Authentic Assertiveness isn’t about being forceful, aggressive, or domineering. It’s about being a connected and skilled communicator, who knows how to communicate clearly and assertively without needing to be loud or aggressive.

It’s about being the kind of communicator that people enjoy listening to. Who they respect. Who they trust and feel connected to.

After all these years, there’s no doubt in my mind that this is the most effective way to communicate – and it’s simpler to master than most people think.


3 steps to Authentic Assertiveness.

The first step is to identify and overcome our limiting beliefs.

We simply have to stop believing the things that are holding us back.

For a lot of people, these are things like believing that saying no is a bad thing. That we have to put other people before our own needs. That we should be careful about being direct. That people will be upset with us if we disagree with them. And so on.

An easy way to find these limiting beliefs is to think about why we don’t do what we want to do. More often than not, the reason we come up with is our limiting belief.

Once you know what your limiting beliefs are – study them. Find a good source of information that can help you understand why it’s holding you back, and how to overcome it. How to leave that old belief behind.


The second step is to create assertive habits.

To figure out which habits will be helpful, take a moment to think about what people you experience as assertive regularly do that you don’t.

A typical example is that assertive people are more likely to make small decisions – such as where to eat or which movie to watch – than non-assertive people.

Once you’ve discovered habits you don’t have – start practicing them until they become natural for you. Take your time, start easy, and work on one or two habits at the time, and soon you’ll see big changes.


And the third step is to challenge yourself just a little bit every day.

Step outside of your comfort zone and into your growth zone as often as you can. Practice speaking up when you normally wouldn’t. Ask for things even if you feel a little uncomfortable doing it. And have conversations you’d normally avoid.

This will build your confidence, and help you create bigger and better habits.


If you want some help along the way, I’ve just now released a new online course on Authentic Assertiveness that will help you with all of these steps.

You’ll learn about the psychology of assertiveness. You’ll learn which habits are important and how to create them. And you’ll learn lots of techniques that will help you practice assertiveness in your everyday life.

And, for the next 4 days you’ll get the course at a 95% discount! So click here for more information – and the discount will be automatically applied.


Let’s connect on social media!

Join my Facebook group Centered Communication.
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